▪█────█▪ My journey into becoming a Bikini and Figure Competitor ▪█────█▪ and beyond.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
BBB week 30....
Le sigh....still chuggin along like the engine that could. No changes in numbers, still 148# and 36-28-39. Some days I feel ok about how I look and others I feel like a tub o shiat!!! But when compared to where I started...I'm definitely less blubbery :)
XOXOXO, BLING!
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
BBB week 13 update...
Although the scale may not reflect big changes...things are happening, I think! Not sure if the difference I see is just the tight pants pushing all my blubber up and in the bikini pic it's just loose...LOL.
The first pic was at the start of week 1 in my "Bring Back Bling" journey, the 2nd pic was at the start of last week, week 13. The weight differences are 151 in the first pic and 148 in the 2nd pic (normally I'm 126-128). My clothes still fit the same (tight) (wearing an 8, normally I'm a 4) and my measurements are still the same (37/28/39) normally I'm (34/26/36), but somehow I look less FAT.
To clarify when I say normally, I mean BEFORE ever competing, in my regular life. I have no desire to be as lean and small as I was when I was competing.
My point is DO NOT GIVE UP, keep pushing. And DEFINITELY take pics..they really help when we're feeling hopeless and like nothing is working. They reinforce the fact that what we are doing is not for NOTHING.
MUCH LOVE!!!!
xoxoxox, BLING
 |
| See how the left side of my body is higher than the right? I was told once by a Chiropractor that I may have slight scoliosis, which is totally possible..my sister had it and corrective surgery as a young child/adolescent. |
The first pic was at the start of week 1 in my "Bring Back Bling" journey, the 2nd pic was at the start of last week, week 13. The weight differences are 151 in the first pic and 148 in the 2nd pic (normally I'm 126-128). My clothes still fit the same (tight) (wearing an 8, normally I'm a 4) and my measurements are still the same (37/28/39) normally I'm (34/26/36), but somehow I look less FAT.
To clarify when I say normally, I mean BEFORE ever competing, in my regular life. I have no desire to be as lean and small as I was when I was competing.
My point is DO NOT GIVE UP, keep pushing. And DEFINITELY take pics..they really help when we're feeling hopeless and like nothing is working. They reinforce the fact that what we are doing is not for NOTHING.
MUCH LOVE!!!!
xoxoxox, BLING
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Operation BBB, week 10-11 update
So, here we are, week 10 of Bring Bling Back aka get my ass in shape.
I joined Orange Theory Fitness (OTF) the last week of September! I'm currently on week 11 of Operation Bring Back Bling and my weight is at 146-148 and holding steady. So my set point is down a bit from 151, but still no where near close to my regular 126-128. Just gotta keep going, soon enough the rest will come off, HOPEFULLY.
XOXOXO,
Bling!
I joined Orange Theory Fitness (OTF) the last week of September! I'm currently on week 11 of Operation Bring Back Bling and my weight is at 146-148 and holding steady. So my set point is down a bit from 151, but still no where near close to my regular 126-128. Just gotta keep going, soon enough the rest will come off, HOPEFULLY.
XOXOXO,
Bling!
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Operation BBB, week 5
This is the end of week 5, my weight is between 147-150, from 151. Not much change :/
Been thinking about joining Orange Theory Fitness with some friends to add more cardio back into my life. Retiring from Roller Derby has made a big impact on my weekly calorie expenditure!
P.S. We got a new puppy!!!!! My 4yo daughter named her Elsa <3 She's 7wks old and weighs 1lb 4 oz as of now. She's such a little lover nugget!
XOXOXO, BLING
Been thinking about joining Orange Theory Fitness with some friends to add more cardio back into my life. Retiring from Roller Derby has made a big impact on my weekly calorie expenditure!
P.S. We got a new puppy!!!!! My 4yo daughter named her Elsa <3 She's 7wks old and weighs 1lb 4 oz as of now. She's such a little lover nugget!
XOXOXO, BLING
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Operation BBB, week 4
Still plugging away....still no changes in weight or inches....still not giving up. Something WILL change soon. #nevergiveup #neverquit
p.s. WHHHHHHHHHHHY do my coworkers have to bring in effing JUPITER DONUTS?! ugh (I didn't eat any).
https://youtu.be/Hcrdn1a3jdg
XOXOXO, BLING!
 |
| Start of week 4. |
https://youtu.be/Hcrdn1a3jdg
XOXOXO, BLING!
Monday, August 17, 2015
Operation Bring Bling Back!!!
It's been a rough year since competing. Up, down, all around, a mess.
The mental fuckity-fuck you go through, not to mention the upheaval to your body's normal functions is REAL! My body is not readjusting at all. My normal every day "set point" for my weight is way up from what it's been for the past 20+ years! I'm at 151 compared to my normal 126-128 set point.
One day are major feelings self hatred. Like I can't even stand to look in the mirror type hate. Clothing can hide a lot that people are not aware of...OH MY GOD BECKY, look at my GUT!
The very next day I'm "ok" with myself and think I'm not doing/looking so badly. But I know that's a lie, cuz as I just said, clothes hide A LOT!!!!!
Here's the thing tho, I'm NOT giving up! It's not in my DNA. As a matter of fact, I've decided to kick myself into gear and see what I can do to make some changes. *fingers crossed* Oh, and I also went for some blood work to see if things are looking "normal".
The mental fuckity-fuck you go through, not to mention the upheaval to your body's normal functions is REAL! My body is not readjusting at all. My normal every day "set point" for my weight is way up from what it's been for the past 20+ years! I'm at 151 compared to my normal 126-128 set point.
One day are major feelings self hatred. Like I can't even stand to look in the mirror type hate. Clothing can hide a lot that people are not aware of...OH MY GOD BECKY, look at my GUT!
 |
| Week 1 |
 |
| this pic was so PAINFUL to take, much less POST! |
The very next day I'm "ok" with myself and think I'm not doing/looking so badly. But I know that's a lie, cuz as I just said, clothes hide A LOT!!!!!
Here's the thing tho, I'm NOT giving up! It's not in my DNA. As a matter of fact, I've decided to kick myself into gear and see what I can do to make some changes. *fingers crossed* Oh, and I also went for some blood work to see if things are looking "normal".
 |
| The start of Operation Bring Bling Back, end of week 2 |
XOXOXOXO, BLING!
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Competing and Life after....(1 year later)
So, here I am a year after my final competition.....(the dress hides a lot)!
Sometimes I say, "I wish I never did it" and other times I'm so happy to have gone through it, proving to myself and all the nay-sayers out there that I can do whatever I set my mind to. That I am STRONG willed, persistent, and all around amazing! Which, I AM, duh!!!
Why do I say I wish I never had? Well, here goes:
I don't feel "normal" anymore. I always say to my husband, "I just want to be normal again". After dieting, training, and looking the way you do for competitions, regular life just seems "wrong" or "not enough" in some twisted way. I almost feel like I developed an unhealthy relationship with food where it is an ALL or NOTHING mentality. I either eat ALL (everything and anything, anytime with no regard for moderation or cheat meals) or NOTHING. Not "literally" nothing. What I mean is no cheats at all, therefore, leaving me feeling that I'm "fat" or "undisciplined" if I eat something indulgent. Or "deprived" if I eat in a completely clean way.
The happy medium I once lived so blissfully in is GONE. Happy medium, you ask? I'll tell you.
Before I ever competed I used to live in a perfect little world where I worked out/trained during the week 4-5 days, ate relatively good and on the weekends, if I had a party or event to attend, I'd go and actually ENJOY it along with the food and drinks. I was able to keep myself at my goal weight of 123 (when being really good) to 126/128 (when I'd let up a little). I'd maintained that weight for as long as I can remember. At least 20+ years. I've been working on getting to that happy medium once again. I went up to 140 after my last show in June (2014). Yes, I do realize and can see that I've put on some muscle mass, but I KNOW I didn't put on 12lbs of muscle! Right now I'm working on getting myself back down to 128-133, as only 5lbs of my weight gain is probably muscle. I've been up and down from 150-139 in the past year and no matter what I've done cannot get back down. I've busted my ass in the gym, dieted like I did before and nothing. My metabolism has been damaged from the extreme dieting involved in competing. My body is holding onto literally everything I eat and not responding to any cardio. I really wish I had known more about this, not that it would have deterred me! I'm currently at 147 and trying to reverse the damage by only weight lifting, doing some HIIT sessions for cardio, and NO extreme dieting. I've read up a lot on metabolic damage and this seems to be the only way to fix it. I just have to be patient and not be so hard on myself. Easier said than done.
All this said, I won't compete again. It's a taxing life....on your wallet, emotions, and body. I'm 41, it's not like I'm going to become a PRO and make this my "bread and butter". For me, it was more of a challenge...Which I completed gloriously! Bucket list checked off and I'M PRETTY DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF!
XOXOXO, BLING
Sometimes I say, "I wish I never did it" and other times I'm so happy to have gone through it, proving to myself and all the nay-sayers out there that I can do whatever I set my mind to. That I am STRONG willed, persistent, and all around amazing! Which, I AM, duh!!!
Why do I say I wish I never had? Well, here goes:
I don't feel "normal" anymore. I always say to my husband, "I just want to be normal again". After dieting, training, and looking the way you do for competitions, regular life just seems "wrong" or "not enough" in some twisted way. I almost feel like I developed an unhealthy relationship with food where it is an ALL or NOTHING mentality. I either eat ALL (everything and anything, anytime with no regard for moderation or cheat meals) or NOTHING. Not "literally" nothing. What I mean is no cheats at all, therefore, leaving me feeling that I'm "fat" or "undisciplined" if I eat something indulgent. Or "deprived" if I eat in a completely clean way.
The happy medium I once lived so blissfully in is GONE. Happy medium, you ask? I'll tell you.
Before I ever competed I used to live in a perfect little world where I worked out/trained during the week 4-5 days, ate relatively good and on the weekends, if I had a party or event to attend, I'd go and actually ENJOY it along with the food and drinks. I was able to keep myself at my goal weight of 123 (when being really good) to 126/128 (when I'd let up a little). I'd maintained that weight for as long as I can remember. At least 20+ years. I've been working on getting to that happy medium once again. I went up to 140 after my last show in June (2014). Yes, I do realize and can see that I've put on some muscle mass, but I KNOW I didn't put on 12lbs of muscle! Right now I'm working on getting myself back down to 128-133, as only 5lbs of my weight gain is probably muscle. I've been up and down from 150-139 in the past year and no matter what I've done cannot get back down. I've busted my ass in the gym, dieted like I did before and nothing. My metabolism has been damaged from the extreme dieting involved in competing. My body is holding onto literally everything I eat and not responding to any cardio. I really wish I had known more about this, not that it would have deterred me! I'm currently at 147 and trying to reverse the damage by only weight lifting, doing some HIIT sessions for cardio, and NO extreme dieting. I've read up a lot on metabolic damage and this seems to be the only way to fix it. I just have to be patient and not be so hard on myself. Easier said than done.
All this said, I won't compete again. It's a taxing life....on your wallet, emotions, and body. I'm 41, it's not like I'm going to become a PRO and make this my "bread and butter". For me, it was more of a challenge...Which I completed gloriously! Bucket list checked off and I'M PRETTY DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF!
XOXOXO, BLING
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)