BBB week 13 update...

Although the scale may not reflect big changes...things are happening, I think!  Not sure if the difference I see is just the tight pants pushing all my blubber up and in the bikini pic it's just loose...LOL. 

See how the left side of my body is higher than the right?  I was told once by a Chiropractor that I may have slight scoliosis, which is totally possible..my sister had it and corrective surgery as a young child/adolescent. 
 

The first pic was at the start of week 1 in my "Bring Back Bling" journey, the 2nd pic was at the start of last week, week 13. The weight differences are 151 in the first pic and 148 in the 2nd pic (normally I'm 126-128). My clothes still fit the same (tight) (wearing an 8, normally I'm a 4) and my measurements are still the same (37/28/39) normally I'm (34/26/36), but somehow I look less FAT.

To clarify when I say normally, I mean BEFORE ever competing, in my regular life. I have no desire to be as lean and small as I was when I was competing.

My point is DO NOT GIVE UP, keep pushing. And DEFINITELY take pics..they really help when we're feeling hopeless and like nothing is working. They reinforce the fact that what we are doing is not for NOTHING.

MUCH LOVE!!!!
xoxoxox, BLING

Operation BBB, week 10-11 update

So, here we are, week 10 of Bring Bling Back aka get my ass in shape. 

I joined Orange Theory Fitness (OTF) the last week of September! I'm currently on week 11 of Operation Bring Back Bling and my weight is at 146-148 and holding steady.  So my set point is down a bit from 151, but still no where near close to my regular 126-128.  Just gotta keep going, soon enough the rest will come off, HOPEFULLY.

XOXOXO,
Bling!

Operation BBB, week 5

This is the end of week 5, my weight is between 147-150, from 151.  Not much change :/

Been thinking about joining Orange Theory Fitness with some friends to add more cardio back into my life.  Retiring from Roller Derby has made a big impact on my weekly calorie expenditure!




P.S. We got a new puppy!!!!!  My 4yo daughter named her Elsa <3  She's 7wks old and weighs 1lb 4 oz as of now.  She's such a little lover nugget!

XOXOXO, BLING

Operation BBB, week 4

Still plugging away....still no changes in weight or inches....still not giving up.  Something WILL change soon. #nevergiveup #neverquit

Start of week 4.

p.s. WHHHHHHHHHHHY do my coworkers have to bring in effing JUPITER DONUTS?!  ugh (I didn't eat any).
https://youtu.be/Hcrdn1a3jdg


XOXOXO, BLING!

Operation Bring Bling Back!!!

It's been a rough year since competing.  Up, down, all around, a mess.

The mental fuckity-fuck you go through, not to mention the upheaval to your body's normal functions is REAL!  My body is not readjusting at all.  My normal every day "set point" for my weight is way up from what it's been for the past 20+ years!  I'm at 151 compared to my normal 126-128 set point.

 
One day are major feelings self hatred.  Like I can't even stand to look in the mirror type hate.  Clothing can hide a lot that people are not aware of...OH MY GOD BECKY, look at my GUT!

Week 1

this pic was so PAINFUL to take, much less POST!

 

 

 

The very next day I'm "ok" with myself and think I'm not doing/looking so badly.  But I know that's a lie, cuz as I just said, clothes hide A LOT!!!!!



Here's the thing tho, I'm NOT giving up!  It's not in my DNA.  As a matter of fact, I've decided to kick myself into gear and see what I can do to make some changes.  *fingers crossed*  Oh, and I also went for some blood work to see if things are looking "normal". 



The start of Operation Bring Bling Back, end of week 2

 

XOXOXOXO, BLING!



Competing and Life after....(1 year later)

So, here I am a year after my final competition.....(the dress hides a lot)!

Sometimes I say, "I wish I never did it" and other times I'm so happy to have gone through it, proving to myself and all the nay-sayers out there that I can do whatever I set my mind to.  That I am STRONG willed, persistent, and all around amazing!  Which, I AM, duh!!!

Why do I say I wish I never had?  Well, here goes:

I don't feel "normal" anymore.  I always say to my husband, "I just want to be normal again".  After dieting, training, and looking the way you do for competitions, regular life just seems "wrong" or "not enough" in some twisted way.  I almost feel like I developed an unhealthy relationship with food where it is an ALL or NOTHING mentality.  I either eat ALL (everything and anything, anytime with no regard for moderation or cheat meals) or NOTHING. Not "literally" nothing.  What I mean is no cheats at all, therefore, leaving me feeling that I'm "fat" or "undisciplined" if I eat something indulgent.  Or "deprived" if I eat in a completely clean way.

The happy medium I once lived so blissfully in is GONE.  Happy medium, you ask? I'll tell you.

Before I ever competed I used to live in a perfect little world where I worked out/trained during the week 4-5 days, ate relatively good and on the weekends, if I had a party or event to attend, I'd go and actually ENJOY it along with the food and drinks.  I was able to keep myself at my goal weight of 123 (when being really good) to 126/128 (when I'd let up a little).  I'd maintained that weight for as long as I can remember.  At least 20+ years.  I've been working on getting to that happy medium once again.  I went up to 140 after my last show in June (2014).  Yes, I do realize and can see that I've put on some muscle mass, but I KNOW I didn't put on 12lbs of muscle!  Right now I'm working on getting myself back down to 128-133, as only 5lbs of my weight gain is probably muscle. I've been up and down from 150-139 in the past year and no matter what I've done cannot get back down.  I've busted my ass in the gym, dieted like I did before and nothing.  My metabolism has been damaged from the extreme dieting involved in competing.  My body is holding onto literally everything I eat and not responding to any cardio.  I really wish I had known more about this, not that it would have deterred me!  I'm currently at 147 and trying to reverse the damage by only weight lifting, doing some HIIT sessions for cardio, and NO extreme dieting.  I've read up a lot on metabolic damage and this seems to be the only way to fix it.  I just have to be patient and not be so hard on myself.  Easier said than done.

 

All this said, I won't compete again. It's a taxing life....on your wallet, emotions, and body. I'm 41, it's not like I'm going to become a PRO and make this my "bread and butter". For me, it was more of a challenge...Which I completed gloriously! Bucket list checked off and I'M PRETTY DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF!

XOXOXO, BLING

Better late than never!

I'm back!!!  It's been a while since I've updated.  Well, let's see...I did one more show, the Anna Level in June of 2014.

The prep went something like this...8 days out.

3 days out looked a bit like this....

Night before the show, working at Hot Spot tanning for my free tan....

Show day...gave myself a faux side shaved head with a teal highlight to match my suit...

 

 

On stage at the night show!  I definitely did not lean down as much as I should have.  But oddly, I like the way my body looks better than when I was waaaaay leaner in my first couple of shows.  I competed at 124 lbs this show compared to 110 at my very first bikini show, 112 at the next few shows in Figure and 114 at the final Figure show of 2013.

A few comparison shots....still WAY smaller than everyone else.  Building a physique like these ladies takes years of dedication and hard work!  I've only been doing it a year.  The lovely in the middle took 1st place and it's well deserved.

Even with a 6th of 6 placing (dead last), I was still extremely proud of myself! 

I mean....

6th place looks like a MILLION bucks to me!!!!

It's been a great ride.  I'm seriously so grateful to Amy and Dave from Fit & Psyched for helping me met my goals and checking off yet one more item on my to-do list! 

xoxoxo, BLING